Shrink Attack !!!

Ok, many people had told me that I am funny. Some have paid me this complement without taking a break from their laughing. But no one, not one of them said its dangerous except Neetha (names changed).. In her cocky, snobby, know all opinion I have "unresolved issues" from my past. Before I could protest with all my ferocity, she shut me up with a PhD degree in behavioural psychology. Now how would you tackle that..

My usual entertain-friend-over-beer-and-maggie turned out to be a major "couch experience" on two seperate single couches ofcourse. Neetha is a pain in the the the (ya thats where) despite her stunning looks, tone body. After all those years still, things have never changed. I could never get to make a pass at her. Somehow I felt wierd being associated with her.

I am in no mood to do a blow by blow account of what happend but here it is in summation. She thinks "My funny facade is to hide a deeper sense of a need to be recogonised, to have attention heaped on me and hide my inadequacies. Further it can also stem from possible anxiety (of what she never elaborated)".

I decided to explore a bit and see if I atall hide my inadequacies. now these are the few times, I thought about all my "inadequacies".

1) I am horribly organised.
2) I sometimes talk. Ok.. I talk all the time.
3) I make people laugh and make them forget about how sick, dead, useless, fucked up their lives are. ok thats a little overkill. But take heart whose life is it anyway ;) .
4) I give complements very freely and easily (She thinks, I do this to overcome my inadequacies too. Feeling cocky, arrogant and proud).
5) I genuinely like some people who laugh uniquely (like the girl I recently met who chuckled at all my jokes and who laughed incessantly. She thinks thats because I like my audience) and I tell them that. Now sometimes it makes people uncomfortable.
6) I am always behind schedulde at all my personal chore (She thinks, I need a core purpose in life and this being behind in scheduldes (paying bills mainly) is a reaction to a purposeless life).
7) My speling suck and I am too lazy or indiffierent to correct it. not that I notice it. Responses have been pouring in in 100s of how funny and witty my posts are if only you do the spell check. I say all these people have problems. They cant deal with a little imbalance and disorder and chaos in this world. They crave for perfection and precision. This maniacal obsession is a disease, I dont suffer from. And yes, I purposely mispelt the word spelling to open people's eyes to reality. See how many people suffer from this disease ?

There are a ton of other nasty habbits that I have, but I am not going to take me down in public glare. I am not that stupid.

I think Neetha is psycho, cos she has done so much of psycho reading to do her PhD and she has to use the full power of her knowledge on an unsuspecting subject. Ya, I know its a little lame. I also think that everyone has to have some issue or the other ? even the guy who thinks he has no issues. Thats very abnormal isnt it ? Someone with no issues ? maybe that is the issue. "you dont have any issues, how wierd, you are hiding something". I think she has issues. to her mind everyone is hinding something and she is that cop. I think when she was a kid she never played the cop.

The problem with her was, the last time we met I was 19. She still relates to me when I was 19. Awkward, never been on stage, last in the race, curd rice gulping, brain dead no opinions, absolutely no sense of comptition or aggression, not protective about the things I liked. That was 11 years back (ya, I am thirty). And she suddenly is told by a friend of a friend of a friend how socially networked and active I am. She couldnt believe it and is trying to find the switch in my "id". Know what an id is ?? She just cant believe that I am charming, funny and basically at peace with my f*ed up life. Ya once in a while I do one of those big binges "30 hrs of t.v." (cant you watch 30 hrs of female wrestling ? whats wrong with you ? ) or "3 books in a row", but by and large my phone book is full and I get phone calls from most people. No, I dont know sonali bendre not yet(for my international readers, here is where I fail. I cant make all my annectodes and examples international friendly You guys have to learn your sonali bendre as much as your pam anderson).

Ok. one thing she asked me was, "why do you write long posts ? is there a problem with your inner mind about not having been heard enough". Alright thats it. I couldnt take it anymore and promised her that I would keep it short. Anyway she went back to US after getting married and I really really hope I dont bump into her for another 13 years. Poor guy (whoever married her) is going to get psychoanalysed and this way forget problems related to performance anxiety, He is going to have problems related to performance !! phew..

Now where was I, ya the girl who laughed incessantly... isnt it a great thing to laugh so easily ?? I just make people laugh. But Neethu literally made me sob. Now I cant do that, not even when I am psychologically stripped and analysed in a cold blodded fashion. But it really hurt to find out how sick and warped human beings are. They are always looking for an opportunity to demoralise you and put you down.

But you know what ? "Mard ko Dard nahi hotha".... "ghar jake hotha hai"..

Why am I writing about all this (apart from making a few people laugh..including me) ? Its the flavour of the month. These days people are out there putting nasty derogatory blog posts and there are people out there defending their honour and integrity with full ferocity (Read "The season of defamation and defence. An exciting episode of how rival law firms are at work to sully white "Van-huesen" shirts with brown mud... only on Practice...tada tan tadatan").

Apart from social causes and philosophical views how really serious can a blog post get anyay. This one really pushes the envelope. The buzz is everywhere and I said to my self, why not. Lets get nasty.