Saturday, November 12, 2005


Cosmo Kramer is the closest I could relate to any T.V. Character. Thats because I havent followed Homer Simpson that much. Nevertheless, this post is 'an ode to Kramer'.

Before we go on further, sample this.

(CUT TO: Nina's studio. Mr. and Mrs. Armstrong are admiring Nina's "Kramer.")

MRS.ARM:I sense great vulnerability. A land child crying out for love, an
innocent orphan in the post-modern world.

MR. ARM:I see a parasite.

MRS.ARM:A sexually-depraved miscrient, who is seeking to gratify only his
most basic and immediate urges.

(CUT TO: Armstrongs admiring painting again.)

MRS.ARM:He is struggled, he is man-struggled. He lifts my spirit!

MR. ARM:He is a loathsome, offensive brute, yet I can't look away.

(CUT TO: the Armstrong's dining room. Mr. and Mrs. Armstrong are having Kramer over for dinner.)

KRAMER: ...then, when I was seventeen, I ran away from home and hopped a
steamship to Sweden. (beat) This steak is excellent, by the way.

MRS.ARM:More potatoes?

KRAMER: Yeah, sure. Please.

MR. ARM:Yes, yes. Go on. You hopped a steamship to Sweden?

KRAMER: Yeah. (beat) And, it was a big one.

Kramer epitomises the simple opportunistic, base, vulgur existance of ours. He reminds me of my wild days. The things that I did to get by. Sometimes those days re-visit me for real. But most of the times its just t.v.

The brilliant ideas that spark lightnings in Kramer's brains spark in mine too. The sheer inspiration Kramer is to the other characters is unforgettable. Who can forget the charming and smooth way Kramer makes Jerry lend the money for Elaine's apartment, or the amazing fondness with which Kramer says 'I adopted this highway'

The sheer stupidity and simplicity he displays while cleaning the highway in the face of speeding cars launches a million laughs.

The expression of 'Eureka!!!' on Kramer's face when he dicovers a new pizza making business or running a rickshaw service in the city or when he smuggles Nicaraguans to roll cuban cigars is unbelievable.

Last of all is the sheer opportunism he displays when he asks Ninal - Jerry's girlfriend to take of her clothes while modelling for her painting is simply incredible. Here sample this.

KRAMER: You sure you don’t want me to take my clothes off? (beat) I’ll do it!
NINA: No, that’s the last thing in the world I want you to do.
KRAMER: Well, why don’t you take your clothes off?
NINA: I don’t know... I don’t think Jerry would like that.
KRAMER: (debonair smile) Well, it’d be our little secret.

In a bleak life full of dull drab images, being Kramer and discovering simple joys of living, doing simple and stupid things is a treasure to possess. Unfortunately this is Earth, not neverland. Out here the truth stares loud 'Breathe till you die'. But then there is 'seinfeld' to be entertained. Forget all those worries and de-stress.

(Theme music plays on TV, Kramer walks in, waves at Jerry and Elaine, then
walks over to Jerry's bookshelf, dancing to the music. Voice of Mary Hart
starts on TV and Kramer starts having a wild seizure behind the sofa.)

Jerry is dull and drab. Elaine is hot. George is hilarious.
Kramer is brilliant

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